'April is the cruellest month'. And so it is. As I prepare yet again for your departure 4 years ago. The garden is full of blue, the colour that represents you and your deepest soul. The innocent blue, tea-blue of the forget me not, so childlike in shape and yet so profound in its shade. The serious grey/violet of the bluebell, older, sadder, ancient.
These are now all that is there of your form in tiny forms, repeating and repeating you, everywhere. Letting you go from my arms into the abundant garden was something I could never have been able to envisage, or practice.
Your little brother says I am lucky, I have one child in heaven and one on earth. Heaven is in space, his favourite place.
Let me lay down
my body
next to yours
Both stone
we can close
our eyes
amd gaze sightless at skies
I'm tired
to carry on
and not
carry you
dear sweetness,
my Littlefeet,
today is a step too far
for me
let me lie down with you
(29/3/09)
